This is my list to counter my more negative opinions on the Annoyance
List thereby proving that I'm not a completely bitter person. This will again be mostly
odd little things that are not obvious things that all people like:
Newest Entries at bottom
Bowling pin-shaped Budweisers at a bowling alley.
A city biking maneuver, similar to a previous one, but different enough
to warrant it's own entry. Occurs during evening rush-hour when I need to
cross at Montgomery and California from the southwest sidewalk and have to
wait for the all-ways walk sign to go. When it does, there is such a mass
of people I sometimes can't get through the intersection by conventional means
until it clears out, but every now and then the sidewalk ramp on the southeast
corner is just clear enough for me to go up and then quickly jump off the
curb back onto California since there are no cars parked on that street for
towaway zone restrictions.
A nice vigorous eye-rub after taking out contact lenses at night.
When I cut into a grapefruit to find that it looks perfect and then this
is confirmed by the eating of it. The relief from the potential trauma of
a bad selection is nice since I do love a good gf.
After a big rain, the water in the outdoor pool where I swim is nice and
fresh with not too much chlorine and it's like swimming in fresh water almost.
Putting on warm pajamas fresh out of the dryer.
The name of the famous San Jose nudie bar, "The Pink Poodle".
Fresh squeezed, unpasteurized orange juice. Though high in cost, I will
never go back to anything less unless I am unemployed for over 2 years consecutively.
When I get the jumble in under 30 seconds, which occurs about once a month.
Chicken Garlic (#1) at Banana Best on Commercial Alley, my current favorite
San Francisco lunch meal.
When watching Canadian hockey on satellite and I saw a commercial for pay-per-view
They finally repaved most of Kearney that used to be a very rough road that
I ride home from work on and the smoothness is very satisfying.
Smooth roads in the US. It's a simple pleasure I took for granted before
driving for 12 days in Costa Rica dodging potholes.
When British people call someone "mental" to indicate they are
When I'm in the hot tub at my swim club in the prime jet corner and someone
else is in the other good jet corner and this guy at the pool that annoys
me because he sits in the hot tub for such a long time and swims for such
a pitifully short time comes back for his after swim soak and looks distressed
because his precious spots are all taken that he likes. I just don't like
this guy so I am glad to see his routine stymied.
Whenever I can make a surly Vega$ dealer laugh genuinely with some humorous
quip while playing at his or her table. I feel proud to break through all
the pain and suffering, bringing a brief moment of amusement to their life
Fresh brake pads on a bike after putting off replacing them for too long.
The confidence of being able to stop on a dime is comforting.
The smell of pipe smoke.
When British people say the word "daft". I like the word and the
way they pronounce it.
A generic product that is both unique and very good. Not only do you get
a good product, but it's cheap. An example would be Safeway Oatmeal, Peanut
Butter, Chocolate Chip cookies. It's a perfect combination and usually only
$2 a bag.
The new twist cap on Safeway 1/2 gallon milk. Similar to what has been on
OJ cartons for years, this cap really maintains the freshness on the milk
that I have past the expiration date. With the scam milk laws causing the
price to be fairly high for this food, it's a nice feature to get you a little
more value for your milk dollar.
Franklin Street. With all the congested traffic in SF, you can oftentimes
make it from Market Street all the way to Lombard with one giant consecutive
streak of green lights for 25 blocks along this one-way street. The traffic
planners really did something right with the timing of the traffic lights.
And it absolutely kills Van Ness for speed.
The Asian malt guy at the A's game (formerly with ponytail) who I have marveled
at for several years for his skill at vending. He isn't that young, but he
flies up the stairs, multitasking to sell quickly to multiple customers at
a time and is friendly. He's also one of only 2 vendor in the seats at Sharks
games where you must be swift to sell in the 15 seconds before face-offs after
stoppages of play.
This stoner-looking security guy with massive dreds on a bike at the A's
games that knows us for drinking tall boys of OE at the bottom of the BART
ramp. The first time he saw us, he laughed and said "When in Rome..."
which was a great line and he still remembers us every time he sees us even
though we might not be there for several months.
Fred Wesley. How
this guy can play the trombone like he does it's absolutely amazing in addition
to the fact that it sounds great and calming with the instrument's low frequency.
Just listening to him makes my cheeks and lips hurt at the thought of how
much strength is required to play as hard and long as he does. I recommend
"To Someone", possibly out of print because I got it at the Tower
Outlet, but may be found in used music stores.
The feeling of satisfaction I get after finishing a 1.75L bottle of the
nasty bottom-shelf vodka and gin I like to buy to punish myself. It usually
takes me about 5 months to finish one off because I'm not a big drinker and
also my throat can't take too much in one sitting. But finally when I have
to throw out the bottle and spend the $9 on another one, I feel like I've
achieved something. I recommend Wolfschmidt (purveyors to some late czars,
the bottle says; no wonder they got overthrown) or Winner's Cup brand (made
locally in San Jose) if pain is your goal. Save the Stoli and Kettle One for
the prissy lawyer and investment banker types.
When Foster Farms chicken breast go on sale at Safeway for 99 cents a pound
($2.99 regularly). I go on a chicken marathon for the next 10 days because
I have 2 methods of cooking I like to use and the deal is so good. You can
get 3 gigantic breasts for $3.00 without all the "solution" that
is added to the frozen breast bags at Costco. It's tough to pay normal price
after the sale ends.
Taking skin off chicken breast prior to cooking. I have the technique down
and it's satisfying the way it comes off smoothly with a little snap and I
feel good that I'm not going to be eating it, adding a little bit of health
to my diet.
Biking down Market Street during the commute home. It's rare I do since
I don't normally have occasion to bike along this thoroughfare, but I did
on Friday and there's a good amount of people that live out in the Mission,
Castro, Sunset, etc. that bike to work and the sense of biking in a group
is pretty cool versus my normal lonely short ride up to Telegraph Hill. The
flatness of Market Street is also conducive to riding.
The richness of Steely Dan recordings. Their music just sounds so much better
than other artist's as for as production value goes. Their stuff alone is
enough to invest in some big headphones.
When your MP3 player is on random and just happens to play the perfect song
for your mood/situation from the library of thousands of songs, a song you
might not even have remembered existed at the time. Examples are, the Matrix
theme song playing when I was driving fast down a very windy road Marin and
Everybody's Talkin' when biking along bay as the fog rolls in.
Using your own toilet after several days of having to use nasty public ones
or none at all.
The first giant greasy meal after several days of backpacking and eating
nothing but "add water" meals.
The cool breeze experienced as you approach a torrential waterfall or river
on a hot day.
Hearing foghorns in my apartment on a foggy night. Even though I'm not really
right on the water, the sound carries and it's a very relaxing sound.
A city biking maneuver when at a red light with a lot of pedestrians waiting
as well, when the light changes green, wait a bit and let the mass of people
leave the curve and then make an inside-swoop between them and the curb. Works
only when turning from a one-way streets to another one-way street.
When the person officiating at a wedding says the line "...by the
power invested in me by the state of ..." I like secular aspect being
Using odd currency like Sacajawea dollar coins, 50 cent pieces or $2 bills.
Freshly-lubed bike chain and sprockets.
Neapolitan ice cream sandwiches eaten in the correct order: robust chocolate
to mildly sweet vanilla to refreshingly fruity strawberry.
The smell of shoe repair stores.
Urinals in bar bathrooms with ice in the drain. It's fun to melt it.
Discovering the wonders of broiling meat. I never knew you could cook a
steak so easy and quick in an oven so until recently, I had only pan-fried
thin cuts of meat at home but now I know better and can enjoy thicker cuts
The San Francisco Chronicle's FREE online archive back to 1995. To my knowledge,
no other periodical offers such a vast store of knowledge for free like that.
It's very nice to have when you recall something you read several years ago
and you can find it easily and it's also very interesting to look back at
events in the past by reading detailed accounts as they happened and leading
up to the event.
Diluted smell of gasoline. Again, indirectly, I enjoy the smell. Not to
get high off of, but just the odor pleases me.
Diluted smell of skunk. I know it's weird, but I actually sort of enjoy
it from afar.
The smell of a moist forest after it rains or was very foggy. The wetness
brings out nice scents in the woods, leaves, duff and rocks. Nice mineral
The smell of Eucalyptus tress.
7-11 Big Bite hot dog after a tough bike ride. It's the only time when the
insane amount of sodium in those objects actually helps your body and though
it's really crap food normally, in this instance it's like a cylindrical angel.
Hawks gliding around the Marin Headlands and Mt. Tam. The thermals and wind
are perfect there and it's very relaxing watching them soar with no need for
wing-flapping. Sometimes, they go so low that you can hear the wind as they
swoop over you and their shadow can be startling.
Getting hit by your own avalanche when skiing down a steep slope with nice
Using a phone headset at work. I just feel important like some high-powered
sports agent from Jerry McGuire when I use one of these devices, in addition
to the obvious benefits it gives in the comfort level over standard phone
cradle and the convenience of freeing up both hands.
Using a shredder. I don't know why, but I enjoy the sound and feel satisfied
turning paper into shredded matter that cannot be read. I once spent hours
at a job in college shredding a 1000 pages of a phone bill in continuous form
feed paper that was very enjoyable.
This morning, seeing a car with a giant Raider's decal on the back window
getting towed from the towaway zone.
Taking the Golden Gate Bridge the free direction and then taking not taking
it back the pay direction. This occurs when I go skiing my new way through
Marin and around the north part of the Bay to avoid the Friday commute mayhem
in the city. Coming home, I go the normal way across the Bay Bridge and save
$2 in the toll difference in addition to not having to pay for the Carquinez
on the way up.
Taking the "secret" car pool flyover thing to SF at the 80/580
merge on Sunday night coming back from skiing. It allows you to stay in the
fast lane without having to deal with all the fools merging.
Sleazy writing of the NY Post. It's poetry such as today's headline: "Nun
Snubs Hug, Gets Slugged". Also, they liberally use the word "perv"
in their writing and I like that.
The gurgling noise heard in a clogged drain after pouring in some Drano
crystals. It conveys the battle between good and evil and I like a good battle.
The disco-ish background music that would play in CHiPs episodes during
chases and other big action scenes. I wish there was a CD available.
Ghiradelli hot cocoa in the morning.
The old Chinese guy, Dan, a former Pacific Stock Exchange worker that opens
and closes my laundromat, Little Bubbles. At night, he's there to watch the
clothes, keeps the place clean, and makes change when all you have is a 20.
He even lent me money when I had none and was able to start my loads while
I went to the ATM.
Seeing a hundred old Chinese people doing tai chi in the morning in the
Washington Square as I go to work. It's just cool to see this whole other
world as you start your day.
The british slang "bollocks".
I hear it fairly often on BBC America shows and I just love it. I don't know
The word "schism".
I like the sound of saying it and also it makes me feel smart saying it.
Trader Joe's Chicken Shu Mai. Currently my #1 frozen food of all time.
Allmusic.com. Just a great free music
reference resource, one of my favorite sites.
A nice hot soft pretzel in the morning at work. It's nearly as good as a
bagel and cheaper and more convenient since there isn't a bagel place I like
on my way to work.
Seeing snowboarders stopped on a flat part while I whiz by on my skis, further
showing the superiority of skiing over snowboarding as a sport.
My office chair. I think if they ever lay me off, I will negotiate the chair
as part of my severance package. It has a wide high-back that is perfect for
slouching and is plush, yet very supportive.
Discovering a great new musical artist or song that you never knew about
by hearing it randomly somewhere or using the internet to learn about.
Restaurants that include tax in their prices. I like knowing the even amount
of what my cost will be and not getting back a bunch of change.
Seeing cars with the "boot". This is the device put on cars with
a lot of tickets to force them to pay by disabling the car from moving. I
get great joy in seeing these scofflaws made to pay for their illegal parking
One time when I got picked up at the airport and without a cell phone, came
out to the curb to find my friend pulling up at the exact moment I approached
the curb and he never even stopped; just slowed down and I opened the door
moving with it and jumped in throwing my bag in. The perfect pickup.
When playing blackjack and the dealer shows 11 after flipping his hole card,
he then gets an ace and then a 10. Most pleasurable busting experience.
Sonoma Hot Pepper Jack Cheese on Triscuit.
When biking in the city, using a Muni bus that is stuck in an intersection
as a blocker allowing me to safely run the light.
When I go to use the toilet at work and find that the seat is still up,
indicating it has not been used since the nightly bathroom cleaning. I like
getting a fresh seat.
Taking a piss in the snow when skiing. In addition to saving time from having
to take off your skis and go into the crowded lodge, it's fun to melt the
After a big snow fall, sitting in the outdoor hot tub at my ski cabin and
listening to the "plop" sound of the snow falling off the trees
into the ground and seeing the little clouds of snow exlodes and it hits the
After skiing, sitting in the hot tub drinking a beer after having moved
the downstairs TV so as to be able to watch the football game through the
window while soaking.
Skiing and having the sun low behind you creating a 50 foot shadow in front
of you on the snow.
When newspapers call people a "czar"
of something. I like the extremity of the term.
How Peter Gabriel's song "Big Time" just launches right into the
main lyrics with no intro. I like the unconvential aspect of this enjoyable
At the grocery store, when I purchase a very odd combination of items, like
hamburger meat, latex dishwashing gloves, hot cocoa, Winner's Cup Gin, and
a couple cans of tuna fish. I like confusing people trying to figure me out
by my items on the converyor belt.
Having a ton of mail to open when you get back from a big trip. I look forward
to all the credit card offers that await me.
New carpet smell.
When trading options, seeing the actual volume of your trade register on
the total volume of the real-time stock ticker.
Camping in the woods, relaxing in a hammock and using a plastic 1.5 L bottle
of Gilbey's gin as a pillow to prop my head for reading a book while also
drinking said gin from a shot glass.
Driving down a desolate highway and then seeing Bureau of Land Management
dirt roads leading out to even more desolate spots in the mountains or desert,
leading to God knows where. It's nice to know that there still is a ton of
space and little-explored areas in the vast western US.
This box of sandwich bags I have never seems to run out. I think I bought
it like 7 years ago and I reach in there to get a baggie to carry snacks for
various reasons and it's like a bottomless pit. There's only 150 bags in the
box, but it's like magic in that I never find it empty.
In commercials for medication like ointment when they show the little graphic
of the medicine working, but they always leave a little of the germs there,
so they don't get sued for implying that they well get rid 100% of the germs,
because I guess that's impossible.
A successful usage of WD-40. It's just very satisfying to have something
working perfectly after applying this magic substance. I had a 10 year old
Kryptonite lock for my bike that suddenly wasn't opening and I was almost
ready to buy a new one, but decided to spray some in the slot and not only
did it fix the problem, but the locking and unlocking now is smooth as silk
like I never dreamed it could be.
Tracking packages on the UPS or FedEx website.
"Out the door" liquor pricing at corner liquor stores. I like
the simplicity of the transaction and the deal is usually a pretty good one,
such as the $1.50 OTD Tecate tall-boy currently being drunk right now.
A sign at this liquor store in Chinatown that says "Maximum 10 pennies
per transaction." Classy!
When the NY Post refers to a strip club as a "jiggle joint."
The vinyl smells in my shower when I put in a new shower curtain.
Drinking a beer in the shower after coming back from a tough mountain bike ride.
Smell of a new National Geographic Magazine.
Seeing at a wedding a guy in suit holding a baby in one hand and drinking a beer in the other
When I drink coffee and my piss smells like coffee.
The music video for the Rolling Stones Miss You where Mick Jagger goes all freaky and it's an actual alternate performance, not just lip-synching; can be seen on VH1 classic or possibly youtube.
In heavy traffic, when you want to change a lane and someone else next to you want to change into your lane and you do a nice tradeoff.
In the B-Side Players song "Souldier", there's a line "Please just remember to never forget you're a souldier." I like the language play between the antonyms "remember" and "forget".
A bike maneuver I've been perfecting recently on my way to work I call the "Col-Mon Swoop" which entails going at a fair rate of speed downhill on Columbus where it turns into one-way Montgomery at Washington and the Transamerica Pyramid. I need to make a left turn at one-way Clay but as I'm sailing down the right towaway express lane in the mornings, I need to get over a few lanes to make the turn. When the light at the Intersection of Columbus-Montgomery / Washington is red as I approach
and the cars are stopped, but I can see the walk sign indicating a change to come soon, I can keep my momentum going and while looking out for oncoming cars as an additional precaution, burst through the intersection with momentum enough to swoop past the stalled cars and veer into the left lane for my turn. Often I can combine this move with #36 turning onto Clay for an extra sweet start to the day.
Without exception, every beer I had in Argentina was super-cold. They have a high standard of keeping beer in a special just-below-freezing cooler and was one of my favorite aspects of the country, after the steak, ice cream, chocolate, and the scenary.
In War Games when Matthew Broderick yells, "C'mon, learn God dammit!" to the WOPPR when they are trying to make it see the futility of tic-tac-toe and and hence show that nuclear war is futile as well so it won't launch the missles on the Ruskies. Related, here's another of my favorite lines from the movie about the Norad general skeptical of a computer running the show.
When biking to work at a stoplight and I'm next to some fancy-pants road biker all decked out in his Lance Armstrong attire. Light turns green and there's a big back up of cars and busses blocking the way, but with my mountain bike, I'm able to jump the curb and do a nice manuever weaving around the traffic impossible for the fancy biker to make.
A well-enunciatated rap song, usually of the old skool variety. Favorites in this genre include Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back and Young Mc's Busta Move. This indicates that they care about the lyrics that they want people to fully appreciate and understand them.
The IRS hotline's number is xxx-xxx-1040 and their hold music is the Nutcracker "Waltz of the Flowers" which I find amusing for some reason, but it actually put me in a calm and positive mood while waiting, which I'm sure in the intention.
When I went to Trader Joe's to return this English Muffin Bread that was terrible and the checker agreed with me that it was bad. Made me feel less ashamed to be returning an item, though I need not be anyway since they have a policy that allows it if you don't like something.
The way British people pronouce "massage" with the accent on the first syllable.
Cats laying in windowsills with their eyes squinted enjoying the sun.
The opening guitar of Pearl Jam's Not For You. Just a great opening ominous sound to it. The basic drum beat works perfect with it as well.
The soothing and structure of the Beatles "She's Leaving Home" Just a very calming register and floating on a cloud feeling. One cannot not be relaxed after hearing this song.
This little spring in the side of the mountain on the Mt. Tam mountain bike fire road trail I go on that is a savior for me as I come up on a hot day because the anticipation of sticking my head under it cooling me off and washing some of the nasty sweat and dirt away from my face is the only thing that keeps me going as I'm in pain by that section of the ride
The beginning of Michael Jackson's "I Can't Help It". Genius producing by Quincy Jones. Great song and the opening gets you in the mood with the great noises.