The is a certain amount of respect people need to have for one another for our world to be an enjoyable place to live in. There is a lack of this respect in the actions of some individuals taking a dump in a public bathroom. I’m talking about men’s rooms only since I have no experience on what goes on in the women’s version, other than very loud conversations when I used to be seated next to one at previous jobs.

My beef is that many men making a bowel movement make no effort to minimize the nasty, disgusting noises that emanate from their anus, even with full knowledge of others trying to enjoy a nice quiet piss at the urinal, and even when they KNOW the other person has seen them and can identify the noises as coming from the person. For this second situation, the person not only is disrespectful, but has no shame. At least if he is already in the stall when the non-noisemaking person comes in, then the quiet person doesn’t have the additional unseemly knowledge of the perpetrator. For me, knowing the owner of the nasty noises makes it even nastier.

I understand that people crap differently. For me, even when I am in my home, my craps 90% do not make much noise. But for some, they just eat differently or process food differently causing noise most of the time. However, my own experience has shown me that there is only a slight amount of effort required to reduce the nasty dump noise if one so makes such an effort. I admit, it somewhat takes a little bit of the pleasure of a good dump away to have to regulate the explosion, but the act should really not be an enjoyable one anyway, so this is not a valid excuse for sickening your fellow human beings. There is no way to eliminate all the noise of a noisy elimination. But for god’s sake, a Mt. Vesuvius caliber blast is certainly avoidable!

Really, it’s like farting. People don’t just let it rip in public, so why do they feel that when in a public bathroom it’s now okay to release all constraint? It may be a bathroom, but it’s still public and people need to respect the rights of others not to have to hear appalling gas noises against their will.

Another related issue, that I briefly talked about earlier, involves the case where the noise making person in the stall got there first and then a new person comes in. The nasty noises ensue. The new person does his job, QUIETLY, then proceeds to wash up, hurrying because the noisy person sounds like he's ready to emerge from his gas chamber and he doesn’t want to see him because it is awkward. Given that the noisy person has been disrespectful enough to the unknown companion in the bathroom, he at least should have the courtesy to wait for the other person to exit the bathroom before he leaves his stall, revealing his identity. Listening to an unknown ass spewing gurgling methane noises is bad enough, but at least it is better than putting a face to the gas. Seeing the person just makes the whole thing personal. You realize there is a living person behind these ungodly monstrous noises and your opinion of humanity is severely lowered. In addition, how can I look the person in the eye after knowing THEY know that I know what repulsive forces lie within their cruel souls.

In closing, I’d just like to ask people to have more dignity when on the crapper. Sure, letting a good rip when having to take a crap is a satisfying way to purge the steak dinner you bowels need to release. It says, "I ate and enjoyed a good meal. My body processed all the nutrients. I deserve this dump and am not going to constrain this enjoyment at all." But to those who play by these rules, even in public bathrooms, let me ask you this. Have you no consideration for your fellow man? Have you no shame is facing him after you have repulsed his sensibilities in such a blatant and ghastly manner? For the unscrupulous person answering "no" to these questions, you do not deserve a place in our civilized society.

back to Marc's minimusinngs